10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage – with Drs. John & Julie Gottman

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Drs. John and Julie Gottman, co-founders of the Gottman Institute and authors of 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage—unpack the two types of problems every couple faces: perpetual problems and solvable problems. These types of problems can create friction in a marriage, but smart couples know how to avoid a gridlock and seek to have healthy conflict conversations by approaching discussions with kindness, understanding, and compassion. Master the “soft approach” by extending kindness to your spouse. Stay as neutral as possible and do not let high emotions dictate the conversation. For military couples, avoid creating emotional distance and instead seek to share all experiences—even the terrible ones—with your spouse. Allow your spouse to enter into the pain with you; then, and only then, can your marriage be intimate and life-giving.

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